For some reason, I can’t stop cracking up when I read this. For those of you who don’t know (hey, Rachel Maddow was fooled several weeks ago), Christwire is a satire site (written by the gays, I think):
The ultimate endgame of the homosexual agenda in America is once again coming under fire. This time, however, the attacks are being organized from within. Years of cultural and political successes have made the community of same-sex adherents greedy and egomaniacal. They have had major victories with the redefinition of marriage in several states, liberalized adoption laws, special rights in the workplace, the emasculation of our educational policies and Obama’s imminent federalized protection of male-on-male intercourse in the military. While their greatest challenge continues to be the passionate work of Christian advocates, homosexuals are now engaged in a vicious battle with each other over the direction of their radical movement. This festering conflict will surely shatter any illusion of a “united homosexual front” and is thrilling news for supporters of traditional morality.
The two main camps in this ferocious fight are the “Twinks” and the “Bears.” These terms are quite common in the catty world of gay vernacular and define not just physical appearance, but economic status and social beliefs as well. For years now these two groups have been vying for territory in bars and vacation hotspots across the country. Now they are wrestling for dominance on a national scale. Their shrill debates on the topic are sprayed out all over the blogosphere on a daily basis. Ultimately, both seek to be the final arbiter of what it means to be homosexual in America today.
On one side, the “bears” are working behind the scenes to exert undue influence on our political system. They are especially secretive about their culture and employ highly placed operatives and corrupt lobbyists to get want they want. In contrast to this approach, there is a new generation of gay men known as “twinks” who promote sexual perversion in our schools and on our streets. Their goal to is legitimize promiscuity and effeminacy by numbing us with their persistent outrages.
Head over to Christwire to read the rest of this lengthy (but hilarious) story.