Offline for next week or so…

…as I staff a work trip at this remote island off the Santa Barbara, California coast.  I promise I won’t be gone long, and I will update my blog more regularly when I return.  Life could be tons worse, by the way!

I spent the day on…Route 66

It is now just before midnight and I am sitting in a lovely hotel room at the Holiday Inn Express in Barstow, California.  Donnan and I loaded Louie and luggage into the 4Runner in Santa Fe this morning, we then hastily ate breakfast, and then drove Donnan to Albuquerque and dropped him at the airport.  He flew since he had to work a shift at Badlands tonight.

I enjoy road trips with my and my dog.  There is something about alone time in the car while Louie nuzzles his nose to my arm from the backseat.  It is also a perfect time to look out for cute boys who are also driving somewhere.  I think I saw at least 8 hot guys driving fast cars with backwards baseball caps (gotta love heteros!).  Earlier this afternoon, we stopped off at a park in Flagstaff to play fetch for about a half hour which was followed by voracious drinking of water by a thirsty lab.  As we approached Kingman, Arizona, we witnessed the most hellacious storm I have seen in quite some time.  I think every driver actually pulled over to the side of the road as lightning seemed to flash no less than yards away and a torrential downpour removed any visibility for safe driving.  Of course, every cloud has a silver lining and the storm was followed by the most dramatic rainbow I’ve ever seen over the barren but beautiful Arizona landscape.  It also offered an excuse to gorge at Arby’s — a rare occurrence for me but one that I truly enjoy.

Now I sip a Bud Light and blog in my hotel room.  It is 95 outside but cozy cool in here.  Louie is sprawled on a spotless white bedspread just feet away.   He is exhausted as am I — I am about to snuggle next to him, drink another Bud, and finish “Michael Tolliver Lives.”

Until tomorrow…

Update from New Mexico

We just returned from several days in Northern New Mexico at a friend’s cabin along the Los Pinos River. Louie effused joy as he played in the large meadow with my goddaughters (above and below).

My friends own some beautiful land with this cabin (onto which they are building an addition), and I have spent countless days here since I first visited in 1989. The fishing on the Los Pinos is amazing, although I have not fished it since my fly rod broke several years ago. Donnan did have a chance to fish the river on Tuesday morning.

We have also had much time to socialize and see friends and family in Santa Fe.  I have eaten way TOO much green chile.

On top of the great vacation, an article appeared on on Monday which featured — well, you guessed it — me! You can read it here — I’m the one quoted in the story about TMI from a woman at work who had taken a new lover. I guess by blogging, I am guilty of a constant stream of “too much information.” Aren’t we all?

San Francisco to Santa Fe

Donnan, Louie, and I are headed to Santa Fe for 10 days on vacation.  I will blog occasionally, but am more or less taking it easy.  We leave tomorrow afternoon and will drive to Flagstaff, AZ tomorrow evening.  From there, we will head to Santa Fe for a Friday arrival.  Until next week…

My face in a mirror

My therapist listened intently to my self-deprecating monologue. I was explaining my success (and non-success) in maintaining my sanity. We were having a good and recurring discussion about my anger management. I was sharing that I might have overreacted by shutting down all my social activities completely. I presumed he agreed as he nodded his head.

“What do you think about yourself when you look in the mirror?” he asked.

Without hesitation, I said: “That I’m getting old — I can’t stand it and there’s no avoiding it!”

I have spent ample time lately observing one wrinkle in particular — it sits vertically just below my left eye and intersects with another annoying crease that starts strong and fades out as it reaches my cheek. I’m convinced it’s from sleeping on the left side of the bed while rolled on my left side. I have spent countless dollars on moisturizers, skin toners, and wrinkle-reducing creams to combat the inevitable.

“That was quick!” my therapist responded.

“Well, I’m at the age, forty-one, where I am really beginning to see myself getting older.”

I had not been so sure of something since remarking that our new president back in 2001 was a douchebag.

I am realizing that I’m at the age where it gets a bit more difficult to lose my gut and have resigned myself to the fact that it isn’t going anywhere fast — it may go through cycles of varying sizes, but the belly is here to stay. And, I had the revelation the other day that my hands are beginning to look REALLY old from years of sun exposure and constant use. You can always tell someone’s true age by observing the hands. The face may look 35, but the hands look 50! Mine, at least, don’t look a day over 43.

I have a quick revelation at this point that I came out too late — with only six years of my gay career under my belt, I once again reminded myself that I missed my gay 20s when I didn’t have these aging worries. My sex drive was in overdrive and I could party until 4am and show up on time at work by 9. Those days are gone, and I wouldn’t have even tiptoed near my gay side back in the early 90s anyhoos. It’s something I think about often as I settle into my middle-age doldrums.

But, I also realize at the same moment that I now have a certain confidence that I have never had before. My “I don’t care” attitude has begun to serve me well (even though a part of me always seems to care). I am discovering guys still find me sexy (including my husband) — they are just different guys than ones who probably found me attractive ten years ago.

I am halfway through Armistead Maupin’s new book “Michael Tolliver Lives.” While a stand-alone novel written from the gay character’s perspective 30 years after the original “Tales of the City” began, it does tie up many lose ends about the beloved characters from the original books. We revisit Mary Ann, Mrs. Madrigal, Mona Ramsey, Brian Hawkins, and even Connie Bradshaw. Michael confronts his mid-50s and gay world of his long-time home, San Francisco. He also has a hot young boyfriend (as does Armistead in real life) and seems to cope well with aging within a gay community that is always looking at our own wrinkles in the mirror. The book has made me realize the importance of wisdom and patience over youth and 6-pack abs. It’s a good read, and if you are a fan I would definitely pick it up. At the same time, we are watching the entire “Tales” TV series on DVD and we certainly do feel older as we watch the dated production aspects of the films. They do rock, however!

Ahhh…aging. It still fucking scares me to death no matter how comfortable I convince myself that I am with it all.

Even in spite of everything I’ve learned from Michael Tolliver.

The Jimmi and Dan Variety Cast #22: The big gay rocking world of Ivri Lider

Jimmi and Dan welcome Ivri Lider, the biggest singing star in Israel and soon to be huge in on this side of the world. And, he is a HOT gay boy! The boys discuss Ivri’s new hit song (and first song in English) “Jesse,” and learn about his life in Israel. This podcast features Ivri’s music, including “Jesse” and “Nisim.” Oh yea, we have a surprise call to Ivri’s biggest fan, J.R. from “Memoirs of a Gay Chia”.

Ivri fucking rocks! Sit back and take a listen…you can find all his music at iTunes here.

Please check out our MySpace page AND call our listener line -

(206) 337-1587

Download it here….

All Jimmi & Dan Variety Casts and DanNation Casts are here



Monday tidbits: grapes and Adam’s apple

Adam was visiting from Dallas this weekend so we started the weekend as any tech geeks would — at the Computer History Museum.   Above, Adam poses with the first Apple I computer designed by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak.  If you look closely, you will see jizm smeared all over the plexiglass (I’m not saying from whom).  Adam and I had not been at the museum for more than ten minutes when we noticed a number of cute dorky boys walking around and admiring many of the exhibits.  One such boy is behind Adam (below) as we crowd around Google’s first production server.

After a visit to Men in Gear at Powerhouse on Friday and recording podcast #21 on Saturday morning, Donnan and I headed to St. Helena where my grad school roommates’s family owns a winery and he invited us to their summer party at their home there.  It was a lovely day as we drank various Syrahs and white wines from their product offerings and munched on snacks, burgers, and swam in the pool.  We couldn’t resist a walk into the vineyard before we rushed Donnan back to San Francisco for work.

Jimmi and I also recorded our next podcast on Sunday with Israeli performing sensation Ivri Leder and a special blogger guest.  We will post show #22 in the next couple of days — its a GREAT one.

Happy Monday!

The Jimmi and Dan Variety Cast #21: Calling LONG Distance

Jimmi and Dan welcome Jonathan and Gabe from Calling Long Distance, the #1 and only podcast from San Francisco and London (at the same time)! The gang discusses Gabe and Jonathan’s podcast (after they hunt him down driving through the English countryside), whether or not co-hosts of podcasts should ever have sex, and the CLD boys share EXCLUSIVE news about their future. Sit back and take a listen…

Please check out our MySpace page AND call our listener line -

(206) 337-1587

Download it here….

All Jimmi & Dan Variety Casts and DanNation Casts are here


What a huge cock…

…growing above San Francisco’s South of Market area. When I left here in 2001, SOMA was a struggling district with large warehouses, lots of parking lots, and a brand new ballpark. When I returned over a year ago, it was full of new residences, nearby stores (we live two blocks from Whole Foods and one block from Safeway), and new high-rise buildings. One of them is One Rincon Hill, a new 60-story apartment building currently under construction adjacent to the western approach of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge. It will be the tallest residential structure west of the Mississippi River when it is completed later this year. A second tower, just a tad shorter, will stand just to the north (to the right of the existing building in this photo). It will have water ballasts on the top floor to counter swaying in an earthquake. Before the 1906 earthquake, Rincon Hill was an area with brothels, bars, and sailors — I guess that is now all over in the Castro.

All I know is that all of a sudden one day about six months ago I noticed this building. You can see it from the parking lot next to our building where I take Louie to poop frequently. I can see it from my office (just 4 blocks away). And, I didn’t realize how tall it was until I was approaching San Francisco recently from the East Bay and One Rincon Hill was silhouetted against the late afternoon sky with the rest of the San Francisco skyline. I know it is short by New York and Chicago standards, but it is a HUGE step upward for San Francisco. I say keep building — the more housing, the cheaper the prices!  And we are all for a good supply with fair demand.