TURNING FORTY goes on vacation & needs a new name

I am heading out of town for New York City and Maine in the morning. I will likely post periodically and keep up on my blog reads, but quite infrequently.

That’s what vacations are all about.

I’m facing the daunting task of packing for heat and humidity…

See you soon.

Dan Turning Forty

P.S. – I have an assignment for my readers while I am away. I’m thinking about renaming my blog (since I will be 41 soon). Please leave ideas for a new blog name in the comments section. The winner will receive a copy of Donnan’s “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” soundtrack.

I need your help with this project! I’ve thought of a bunch but none really do it for me. I thank you in advance for your creativity.

You will learn the winner when I launch with my new banner & name in mid-August.

Better yet, call my T40 Listener Line at (206) 337-1587 and leave your nomination there, preferably when you are drunk. I will include you in my next FortyCast.

Wednesday’s Tidbits

There is tons of stuff to write about today. It’s been a difficult week for me – I’ve been bed-ridden at the loft while I recover from a raging case of strep throat. I haven’t had strep in over ten years, and it’s the result of traveling on public transportation and/or working in a large office where everyone gets everything.

I spent a good part of yesterday in bed with a 100 degree fever and ended up getting an IV injection of antibiotics since my body did not respond well to the initial dosage. Fortunately, I don’t feel sick any more but my throat is unmercifully sore. I can barely eat or sing (LOL). Now, I am left with a recovering throat and swollen lymph nodes. I pushed my travel to NYC from tomorrow to Friday hoping that I will be in the best possible shape to see my luvah.

On the other hand, I’ve had lots of time to surf the net and catch up on TV (unheard of for me since I’ve moved back to San Francisco).

First, I am finally hooked on Project Runway. I know. Everyone blogs about this show and I’m not going to say much here except that the egos of some of the players are a bit large given they are novices. On the other hand, they have produced some of the most amazing fashions in very little time. I am blown away with their creativity and entertained by the backstabbing and cutthroat nature of their approaches to getting the job done. It took three seasons for me to appreciate the show and I’m glad I have.

Second, while it is old news at this hour, Lance Bass came out of the closet today. I give huge kudos to celebrities and other public figures who decide to be who they are at the risk of their careers. It is sad that such a move is still considered a “risk,” and even worse that someone announcing their sexuality is a news story. But, we are getting there with each and every one of us who are professionals, contributors and positive role models being out to the public. I may or may not like Lance’s music (and his career is almost non-existent at this point), but I will support him more that he has come out. I remember flying to Europe in 2001 and watching his film, “On the Line,” during the flight. If you have seen it, Lance is not quite convincing as a hetero womanizer. But, I hope he finds happiness and a new direction with his career now that he has his sexuality in check.

Finally, I am almost shaking with anticipation for my trip to New York. I can’t wait to see Donnan. This long-distance relationship has an end in sight – he moves here in November – which makes it all easier. But, I want him next to me every night RIGHT NOW. At least I’ll have my wish for almost a week in the most amazing city in the world. I have learned a lot about patience and true love in this relationship. I have learned the importance of communicating in the most meaningful way in short spurts of contact, phone calls and video Skyping. Now it’s time for the real thing.

And, it is finally foggy and cool here in San Francisco. Just in time for me to brave the heat and humidity of the northeast.

Until tomorrow…

Response to “Letter from the mother of a gay son”

With the 400+ blog posts I have written since I started blogging in October, nothing has generated more emails, links and coverage than the post I made last week where I shared a letter from the mother of a gay son in Vermont. Someone forwarded the letter to me recently and I stumbled upon it in my saved emails and thought I should share it here. I assumed it was recent, but your comments and links to it from your own blogs prompted me to conduct a bit more research.

I found that a White River Junction, Vermont mother named Sharon Underwood wrote the letter to The Valley News on Sunday, April 30, 2000 during the debate over Vermont civil unions. How relevent her words still are today!

Here’s a link to more information about the letter – it has been widely circulated. Here is more from Wikipedia. She also wrote an infamous letter about a Boy Scout dismissed for being gay.

It is great when blogging can share powerful words and thoughts to a new generation…as always, thanks for reading and keep sharing.

And, thanks Sharon Underwood for making a difference….

Battling politics with Adam while battling strep throat

I woke up Saturday morning with a sore throat. It got worse on Sunday. I recorded a podcast last night and I felt better.

At 5 a.m. today, I woke up with the worst constricted throat ever. I pulled myself out of my bed and popped a Chloroseptic in my mouth. On top of all this throat pain, I threw my back out again. So, I was a miserable mess trying to pull myself out of bed trying to get to some relief. I must have been quite a sight. When I got up to go to work several hours later, I could not stop sweating. Fever had set in.

When I got to work, the woman who works across from my office heard me bitching. She reports: “Oh, I had strep throat last week. You should get checked out.”

So I made a visit to the urgent care facility at AT&T Park. After waiting for two hours and hearing it would be “another two hours,” I went back to work and returned later this afternoon to learn (after only a ten minute wait) that I indeed have strep.


I won’t be able to kiss Donnan (or anything else) when I arrive in New York on Thursday night. The doctor recommended I keep it in my pants until at least Friday.


On a brighter note, please tune in to me and Adam having a frank discussion about the upcoming mid-term elections and other weighty affairs at The Krebs Cast. I did pull off the discussion after popping my first round of antibiotics.

Download it here…

Turning FortyCAST #20: The Writing Is On the Wall

Episode #20 is now available for download. Take a listen as Nathan and Dan interview Rey on the demise of his blog, My Secretive Life. And, hear a perplexed Dan learn a secret on the live podcast that changes things forever and throws off the entire show. And HAPPY BLOGAVERSARY to Nathan who in the midst of his one-year Nathday Anniversary Celebration.

Click here to listen…

Click here to see Rey’s new blog, The Writing Is on the Wall…

The photo above is from our first 10 minutes of meeting in Ft. Lauderdale this past February. I also apologize for the technical difficulties we had on this ‘cast due to Rey’s dial-up AOL connection.


  • Turning FortyCAST Podcasts – Click here to see all shows
  • And don’t forget to call the FortyCAST Listener Line:

    (206) 337-1587

    Finally, a shot of me podcasting today with my spiffy new buzzcut. I look like a fucking Marine.

    Shirtless Steve Sandvoss With Hard Nips

    steve sandvoss shirtlessOK – I haven’t posted a pic of him in awhile, nor have I blogged. So, this is my “Carol Burnett tugging on my ear” moment to let you know that I’m busy as hell and doing fine. I did burn my ass at the gay beach today but that’s another entire post.

    It is hot as hell in San Francisco and this pic is what summer is all about.

    AIDSWalk Complete

    The AIDSWalk is done. Team TRIX has risen. With over $5,000 raised, we thank you for your support. Here’s a bit of the sights of our experience today.

    Please note that WET lube is doctor-recommended!

    And the tit being massaged is none other than that of Chad Fox.

    A thoughtful letter from the mother of a gay son…

    With more news like this raising the tally of states that ban (or may ban) same-sex marriage, I am encouraged by this recent letter to The Valley News, a New Hampshire/Vermont daily newspaper that I used to read when I attended Dartmouth 20 years ago. It is in response to letters written to the editor of the paper from religious wingnuts in the area. I plan to print this and share it with my own mother when I visit her for the first time in two years at the beginning of August, when I return to Maine.

    We all need moms like this. The following is a strong and moving letter written by the mother of a gay boy in Vermont…

    Dear Editor:

    Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I’ve taken enough from you good people. I’m tired of your foolish rhetoric about the “homosexual agenda” and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.

    My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay. He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other boys. He was called “fag” incessantly, starting when he was 6.

    In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn’t bear to continue living any longer, that he didn’t want to be gay and that he couldn’t face a life without dignity.

    You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don’t know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn’t put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it’s about time you started doing that.

    At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won’t get to choose. Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don’t know. I can only tell you with an absolute certainty that it is inborn.
    If you want to tout your own morality, you’d best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I’m puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that’s not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?

    A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I’ll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for “true Vermonters.” You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn’t give their lives so that the “homosexual agenda” could tear down the principles they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart.

    He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out, it mattered not at all. That wasn’t the measure of the man.

    You religious folk just can’t bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance.

    How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the sanctity of marriage. You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings.

    There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin. The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about “those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing” asks: “What ever happened to the idea of striving . . . to be better human beings than we are?”

    Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?

    Funny Fridays: Team Trix’ Uniforms are here & R.I.P. Red Buttons

    Our AIDSWalk Team TRIX is ready to go and I thank you all again for your support. We pulled our hair out thinking of costumes but we have licked that problem with the featured t-shirt in this entry.

    I suggested that we wear bunny ears and white boxer briefs but my idea was shot down – you can come watch us in white shorts and the egg yellow Trix t-shirts.

    They arrived yesterday and be sure to give us a yell if you see us walk by. You won’t be able to miss us. The walk takes place in Golden Gate Park.

    I can’t believe I hadn’t posted since Tuesday. Between work and other activities (e.g. drinking at Badlands on Wednesday night and entertaining Atari Age on Tuesday and Wednesday), not to mention a summer cold, I’ve neglected my blog.

    In other news in line with Funny Fridays, performer Red Buttons has passed away at age 87. First, Posiedon Adventure cast member Shelly Winters and now another member of that disaster movie cast, Red, has passed on. Do you think the terrible remake did them in?

    I read in his obituary that he was married three times. Hmmm, I always thought he was gay.