Patriotic Funny Friday

The Angry Fag ran this post earlier this week and I couldn’t resist repeating it here. I guess it is within the theme of “Funny Friday” on a “patriotic” 4th weekend.

From The Angry Fag:

Check out this absolutely hysterical clip from an Australian TV show called Chaser’s War on Everything. Supposed “heightened security” at landmarks was tested when the group sent an “American tourist” to photograph a bridge. In fourteen minutes nothing happened in spite of the fact the guy was photographing security cameras. But when a ridiculously dressed “Arab” came along and photographed the bridge, it took about three minutes for a guard to show up and question him. But wait, it gets better. The “Arab” goes to a nuclear facility and security rushes to the scene and tells him that no one is allowed to film anywhere. The “American tourist” goes and is directed by security into the facility. He spends a total of twelve minutes there photographing before being officially told to leave.

The lesson: “Terrorists should not dress up like crude Arab cliches when checking out potential targets”

Check it out:

While we are on the comedy topic, here is an ingenious song about our “Idiot Son of an Asshole” president. Enjoy it:

Happy 4th of July Weekend!

Today’s gratuitous photo of drunk Jenna Bush

I don’t know. I’m late for work. Sitting at my computer. And found a pic of a drunk Jenna Bush.

It is the day before a 4-day weekend.

Hopefully, this won’t be me this weekend.

The frat boy in the background is cute.

A long, long time ago…

This may look like a screen shot from “Eight is Enough,” but actually it ran in my local paper in 1982. I was Class Historian for the Class of 1984 and here I am with the other class officers promoting a fundraising yard sale. I look like a child (and I guess I was). My friend Mark (on the left with the glasses next to me) sent this to me over the weekend. Mark occasionally comments on my blog and has been with his life partner for over 10 years – they were married in Massachusetts last year. Thanks, Mark! We could call this one “Turning Sixteen.”

I’ve come a long way, baby.

Post-weekend yuk yuks (and an invitation for 2007)

You’ve read all about it here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here.

And here are some words of wisdom from Chad Fox in a phone conversation we had awhile ago:

“Do you remember going on road trips when you were 18 or 19 with your friends and the feeling you had when you got home? That’s what I feel like after our weekend.”

Well said, Chad.

The photo in this post sums up the joy I felt as I got to know some good friends even better. Not to mention an appearance from my better half, Donnan. It is my favorite photo from the weekend (taken by Daryl).

I wrote last week about why I’m proud to be gay. I wrote that I am proud of my kick-ass friends and those that are right there with me in the highs, the lows, the good and the bad. Donnan often says that our community is full of the walking wounded but I did not see that with my peers this weekend. Each and every one of you added something to my Pride experience that not only reinforced my beliefs — it made them deeper.

It is about choosing the right people to share one’s experiences. It is about wearing Darin’s hat (you see it in this photo) and his underwear (just kidding). It is about trying to master Adam’s laugh while you are having a deep conversation with his intellectual husband. It was about being yelled at about squishing too much lime in the guacamole by your boyfriend and a second later kissing and telling each other how much you love the other. It is about sharing a bed with Atari Age and a 90-lb lab. It is about losing it with an old bitch in North Beach in front of everyone and still singing “Endless Love” 30 minutes later. And, your friends understand you a bit better. They see you in your element. They march with you and a sexy hot mayor in a Gay Pride Parade. They break out “social poppers” at the Pink Saturday Party (don’t ask). You lie in the grass and laugh at “The Masturbator” and his bad toupee. You drink too much cranberry and vodka but so did everyone else. You’re all thirtysomething (well, just about) and acting like you’re 18. But, the next minute you are Turning Forty.

While the individual moments may be trite and even forgettable, when you add them all up the final product is magic. That’s what makes me proud.

Thank you friends for joining us in San Francisco. Donnan’s and my Friday Pride Blogger Dinner is now an annual event. See you all in 2007.

By the way, consider yourself invited!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’m a very lucky guy. And I’m very proud of who I have become and those I’ve chosen to take with me into the trials, perceptions, misperceptions, and mistribulations of my 40s.

I know that you are all exhausted so GOOD NIGHT!

Gay Pride in San Francisco #3: The Bloggers

What can I say? It’s been an amazing Pride Weekend in San Francisco. I have to say that blogging has introduced me to some amazing people who all congregated at ma maison on Friday night as Donnan prepared us an amazing dinner – Frito Pie (a New Mexico classic with the chips and taco ingredients on top).

The Blogger Bunch as the evening progressed – from L to R: Rey, Richard, me, Kelly, JR, Darin, Jeff Skybar, Kalvin, Daryl, Adam and Chad. Sorry about the blurry photo – Darin promises to send his “focused” one.

Donnan prepares his amazing dinner.

Kelly also joined us (where were you for the group shot?).

On Saturday, we headed to a great party in the Castro thrown by Kalvin and JR. We hit Pink Saturday on Castro – here, my friend Nick is either contemplating the future or his alcohol use.

Darin #2, Rey, myself, and Atari contemplate Nick’s alcohol use.

I have NOTHING to say about Darin’s and Adam’s new friend. Wait a minute – that’s Donnie from Fresh ‘N Tasty and their cohost on The Dirty Dish. Darin, please lend him your hat for God’s sake!

Today, Kel, Kalvin, Joseph and my friends Chris and Garet marched in Mayor Gavin Newsom’s contingent in the Pride Parade down Market Street. Kel looked like a lady with his umbrella. Later, we hit Civic Center where Nick is thinking about asking for his own spanking.

Yikes! My liver is done. The weekend is over. But, I love my newfound friends to death.

Happy Pride, everyone!

Gay Pride in San Francisco #2: Just some snapshots

We all hit happy hour in the Castro tonight. Donnan is here and all is well. Here’s just a few of the shananigans from the evening.

Top: one person here is not gay. Which one is he?

Second: Kel’s high school graduation.

Third: Donnan befriends Mayor Newsome’s GLBT liasion, Jimmer.

Bottom: Donnan and one of my favorite people, Victor.

I’m tired and wish I could write more. I had a great night hanging with Adam and Brad last evening.

More later.

Gay Pride in San Francisco #1: Why I am proud to be gay

Left: my friends Garet, Chris and Greg at San Francisco Gay Pride 2005.

Dan’s note:
This week I will attempt to cover the activities in my life and those in my friends’ lives during Gay Pride San Francisco 2006. There is lots going on:

  • My better half, Donnan, will arrive on Tuesday and visit until Saturday (a new development since he was originally leaving on Friday)
  • Rey, Atari, Darin, Adam, and Daryl will join us for the weekend. These guys rock and I can’t wait to spend some quality time with each and every one of them.
  • I am so happy being who I am how can I NOT celebrate?

And with that note, here’s my start to celebrating the week:


It is the probing question around these parts and around the world as we conclude Pride Month 2006. Why are we proud to be gay? The question has many complex and diverse answers — but we can only answer for ourselves.

Here’s why I am proud.

It is all about honesty. Honesty with those we love and with ourselves. As many of you know who regularly read my blog, I didn’t come out until about five years ago. I’m a late bloomer as many would call it. Until I was 35, I spent my years couped up in an overpacked closet trying to compensate for my true self through depression, anger and basically being a bitch to many people in my life. Many of my friends would say that I actually wasn’t as bad as I describe myself but I actually would.

I was out with Kalvin last night and he mentioned that I had never written about coming out of the closet. The actual experience, I mean. The experience is all wrapped into why I am proud of being gay.

Here it is.

I spent most of my early 30s living in San Francisco – the gayest city in the world. Everyone I meet and everyone I know can’t believe that I moved away from here to come out of the closet but that’s actually what I did. I moved to Santa Fe in late 2001 after 9/11. I had taken the year off after 6 years of working in telecommunications and a start up in Silicon Valley. I worked my ass off. I would awake at 5:30 a.m., join my carpool at 6:30 a.m., drive to Santa Clara from the City, work for 10 or so hours, and carpool home. All in all, I worked my tight ass off.

I was ready for a break.

The morning of 9/11, I was in Santa Fe housesitting for my best friend’s parents. My best friend and his wife lived next door. I had arrived earlier in the month after a blasphemous week at Burning Man. A week where I hung out at my camp during the day and would scurry around the event at night meeting guys, sleeping with guys and returning to camp to be the pretend person that I was portraying to all I knew. Hetero girl-loving Dan. When I returned to San Francisco after that Burning Man (and before I headed out to Santa Fe to housesit), I met a beautiful Brazilian man named Horatio. He came back to my apartment to play around and instead we ended up talking.

“You are very hot, you must have lots of boyfriends?” he asked.

“Not really,” I responded. “I’m not out.”

He laughed out loud (LOL). So did I. It seemed so natural to lie naked in bed with another man and talk about my sexuality. We talked for hours. Our conversation convinced me to be who I was. I cannot attribute my coming out to anyone but this stranger who helped me realize my true self. I credit myself for coming out but I acknowledge Horatio for helping to open the door. We ended up doing nothing but kiss and talk and I couldn’t have wished for anything more. As I drove to Santa Fe the next day to begin my housesitting duties for the month of September, I kept looking in the rearview mirror and saying: “I’m gay….I’m gay….I’m gay.”

It was the most freedom I had felt in my life. Living life in a lie really sucks.

But I wasn’t ready to tell anyone – yet.

Then the morning of 9/11 happened. I was asleep in bed when the phone rang at about 8 a.m. Mountain Time. It was my best friend’s wife Hannah.

“Get up. And turn on the TV. You won’t believe it!” she yelled.

My first thought was that San Francisco was leveled by an earthquake.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I can’t even talk about it. Just turn on the TV.”

I clicked on the remote in my room. The first thing I saw was the World Trade Center burning and Matt Lauer and Katie Couric commenting over the video. I was confused, just as I had been my whole life.

I sat glued to the coverage and soon thereafter the WTC collapsed. As was most of the nation, I was in shock. I spent the next couple of days in limbo just trying to absorb what had happened. I had a six month backpacking trip planned to SE Asia but cancelled it. I didn’t want to go back to work, nor did I really want to do anything. I was scared to live in a huge city when I felt that the water supply could get poisoned at any second. That’s when Nick and Hannah asked me if I would consider moving to Santa Fe.

For lack of a better plan, I said yes. I moved into Nick and Hannah’s guest house to start a new life.

It was a couple of months later when I drove up the driveway one day and saw Nick, Hannah and my goddaughter Charlotte playing in the driveway. I was over the shock of 9/11 and was beginning to deal with myself again. My secretive life (sorry Rey). They were one happy family playing in the yard and it occurred to me that I would never engage in that scenario. I parked and got out of the car. If there was anyone to come out to it was my best friends who lived 30 feet from me.

My little and newly-acquired puppy Louie came running over and licked my boots.

“Guys – I need to tell you something and you’d better sit down.”

“Who died?” Hannah asked.

“The old Dan” I responded. “I’m gay.”

They looked at me for a second and then responded with a reaction that I did not expect – applause.

“Thank god you finally figured it out!” they cheered.

My life changed forever at that one moment. I had support for who I was. I don’t know why I hadn’t expected otherwise but I felt good. I was me.

Being gay has made me a better man and the best person that I can be. An honest person. No hiding, lying, or pretending. It took awhile to get to this point and I am so proud and happy with the man that I have become.

That is why I celebrate who I am on Gay Pride and for all of you who have gone through bullshit, lies and other damaging behavior. We are all in this together and I am so proud to have you as my friends. You have stood beside me, taken blows for me and talked sense into me. That’s my greatest achievement – making kick-ass friends who are my family. That’s why I celebrate Gay Pride in 2006. Not for anything more than having support in our homophobic world.

And for being able to walk down the street holding hands with my boyfriend in San Francisco (at least). And for those who understand my constant pop culture references.

I’m a lucky guy.

Happy Gay Pride everyone!

Tune in for continuing coverage from San Francisco.

Gays on the beach

It was fucking gorgeous here today.

With temps warmer than the usual June Gloom in San Francisco, I hit the beach with Louie, friends Nick and Jake and their dog Preston. I couldn’t have asked for a better afternoon. Louie is now collapsed downstairs on his dog bed. I’m not far behind him.

I often forget I live so close to some of the most beautiful beaches I’ve ever seen. It’s always too cold or inconvenient to drive all the way out there. I have to say it was worth every minute to get out in the sun and play in the albeit cold ocean.

I hope this weather maintains itself for Donnan’s visit to San Francisco and Pride this coming week.

Just a little bit of fun….

With nothing prolific to write today, I just share some happy moments from last weekend.

You see my friend Sarah, Chad Fox, and Chad’s cousin and my roommate Scott on bottle #5 of wine.

In the bottom photo, Chad torments Scott’s boy Arthur.

It was great to have a weekend without apartment hunting, travel, moving or work.

Let’s hope for the same this weekend. Temps are in the 80s and PRIDE week begins.

Gotta get my glass of wine….