My commute and feeling blue

I thought I’d share what I see on my way to work every morning. In the top photo, you observe the Transamerica Pyramid — this view is the one I see when I leave my building. Some say that a pyramid over a city symbolizes its eventual decline — such was the case, many argue, with the ancient “lost” city of Atlantis. If San Francisco shares the same destiny, it is a unique and funky building with whom we will all fall. I just hope I don’t land ass first on it’s peak!

The middle photo is, of course, one of our infamous cable cars. This shot is on California Street and you can just hear the theme from Rice ‘a Roni claiming that it is “the San Francisco treat.”

I thought that I was the San Francisco treat!

Finally, I pass through Chinatown each day. San Francisco is home to the largest population of Chinese outside of their home country. The hustle & bustle of Chinatown meets me every morning on my way to the Financial District. With laundry hanging from fire escapes and every store peddling some kind of inexpensive luggage, it is truly a one-of-a-kind San Francisco neighborhood.

I’ve been feeling a bit like I made the wrong decision in coming back here. I’m feeling lonely and alone and got hit by a car tonight (only a very slight bruise on my left knee). My readjustment to urban life has not been smooth, especially given Louie who is unfamiliar with busy streets, countless people, and tiny spaces. We will get used to it, though. I’ve made many adjustments and transitions in my life and this is one of many before it. I can feel depressed sometimes, right? I miss the ease of life and my many friends in Santa Fe (not to mention my boyfriend), but realize that for my professional and further personal growth that this is the place for me. I have just got to get over my funk. It will pass. I have thought about changing my decision and going back but I know that I am beyond it (as much as my friends may have to listen to me hem and haw about it). I have fought depression my entire life and have learned to counter and conquer it again and again. That is the key to whatever blues that I may experience. Goals, patience, and remembering that I made this decision for various good reasons will get me through the next couple of weeks.

Now I’m really a Debbie Downer today, aren’t I?

The sun’ll come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be sun…

You’d better believe it!

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http://www.blogger.com/profile/23470870 CAFE GRAND FOU

hi, very interesting blog, thank you,we are frecnh and have a blog too, you are welcome..
http://www.blogger.com/profile/6137561 Scotty

Hey Dan…I think what you are going through is common. The whole detached from the familiar feeling. I think you just need to be patient and it will pass. I have also dealt with depression in my life and it is lately for the opposite. I feel stuck here and sometimes like I will never get beyond the living from check to check and barely scraping by…in Indiana! UGH!

I think we all have our things. Drop me an e-mail if you want to talk and NEVER feel bad about saying what you feel on your blog. THAT’S what it is for if you ask me!
http://www.blogger.com/profile/14083548 Scott

Home is an interior feeling. You carry it with your thoughts.
Scott C

You will eventually get to know SF again as your home. I went through the same feelings when I moved from Chicago to Atlanta. Then a while later, back to Chicago. Each move was best for my career, and for me personally. Some days I did not see it though. Once you have your permanent place, I am sure the feeling will change.
http://www.blogger.com/profile/12231587 Kiss My Mike

i think it’s normal to feel that way while in the adjustment period. i went through the same phase when i moved from CA to NJ.

there were times when I felt alone. the truth is, i was, in fact, alone. because i was new to the place and i didn’t know a lot of people.
http://www.blogger.com/profile/23082454 Kalvin

I think it’s interesting how you have these feelings even though you have lived in SF before. I mean in absolutely no way to invalidate them. Also, even though knowing they will pass doesn’t make them less painful at the time. I was kind of mega depressed yesterday too (walking around my apartment singing “hanging around, nothing to do but frown, rainy days and mondays always get me down”, ha, if I were as thin as Karen…okay not really, oh god, I’m so insensitive). Hope you’re feeling better soon, and, you know, getting hit by a car does kind of suck.

One last thing, do you actually take the cable car? I thought everyone here avoided it like the plague during the day.
http://www.blogger.com/profile/11074211 Nathan

Thanks for posting the pics. It’s fun to see life through other people’s eyes, and to see what they see in their daily commute.

Sorry to hear you’re sad. And also sorry to hear you got hit by a car (do you care to elaborate? That sounds terrible…). Changes like this are always very difficult. I think they get harder as we get older too. I’ve moved a lot in the past 6 years, and when I first started, it was no big deal. Now I become very attached to my routines.

Anyway, I know it makes it even more difficult because of your boyfriend still being in Sante Fe.

Hang in there buddy boy. Or go back. Do whatever feels right.

xoxoxo
http://www.blogger.com/profile/23442626 Tony

Dan…

hang in there bud! I know a sufficient amount about change. Hell my move to go back to school, sell my house, and move to southern California to complete my schooling terrified me. And I at least questioned my move numerous times within the the first 6 months. Hell, I still do. I really think that you like SF and that you’re missing the BF. Late summer will come around soon and he’ll be out. I think Scotty nailed it in his comments. (And I know about depression/anxiety…I too suffer from it) Always feel free to drop an email off if you need to chat.
http://www.blogger.com/profile/10470020 MrSecret

Hey pookie, sorry I couldn’t talk when you called a few minutes ago… We’ll talk tonight. I promise.

As everyone said, there will be an adjustment time… so the loneliness will slowly disappear as you get more and more accustomed to being there again… and soon, Donnan will be back there… and even sooner, I’ll be coming for the weekend in June… and you’ll be a Bay Area Queen in no time!

Chin up, Dan… Don’t think of it being a alone in a strange place… Think of as an adventure to uncover and discover all over again…
http://www.blogger.com/profile/6415106 Dave

Hey, Dan. I think anyone has second thoughts after making a big life change. Hang in there.
http://www.blogger.com/profile/9910967 Sorted Lives

Any big move is a hard transition. Not having Donnan doesn’t help either. Your feelings are common and they will disappear in time.

PS: This is the reason I love your blog. Life isn’t always a party. I often wonder about blogs I read where they only write about only the good things that happen to them. I like that fact you are able to share your inner-most personal feeling to your blogger friends. You validate that I am not the only one who may have certain feelings, fears, and desires as we go through this crazy world! Take Care
http://www.blogger.com/profile/4205984 MargOH! Channing

Danny Darling,

Moving anywhere can get u in a funk. I am sure it will pass and you love being in San Fran. You just have to know that when u get settled things will start to become fun again.

I also am moving, I’m being evicted for wild sex parties and such. I started looking and it’s been hell so far. Berna can’t seem to fin the right place yet, bitch!!!!

Keep your chin up and make sure Donnan sings you some Judy every night on the phone or even better by web cam…. oH dear but then that could lead to other things.. maybe if that happens invite me in for a look see…. LOL

Kisses,

The Big M
http://www.blogger.com/profile/9053128 Alexander

When I first moved to SF back in ’86, it took me a full six months to really start feeling at home and at ease. Give it time. The City will grow on you and eventually you’ll come to embrace her as your firstborn. And no matter how many times you leave, she’ll always welcome you back with open arms. This is the truth I have come to discover.
donnan

Dan, Don’t be sad!Don’t be blue! Cheer up, Little Buckaroo!
http://www.blogger.com/profile/13943881 Hypoxic

Dan, great pictures.

Hope everything is okay from the accident.

Hang in there. Best I can do until Donnan gets there is send you a big warm virtual hug and wishes that everything will work out.

Good luck!

Kevin–>