Paying for tits

So I’m not a big fan of Las Vegas. Nor, am I a fan of female titties. THEN WHY DO I ALWAYS SEE NAKED TITTIES WHEN I AM IN VEGAS???!!?

I had talked to Donnan from Oakland Airport on Friday afternoon. His cousins had received free tickets to a show at the Luxor later in the evening and he asked if I wanted to go. I said sure – I was excited about seeing Donnan twice in one week and he could have bought me tickets to a George W. Bush Fan Club meeting and I would have gone. So he bought two tix so that we could join them.

My noneventful flight landed and I rushed to the hotel and met up with Donnan for a romantic dinner and then the show. I met members of his amazing and friendly family and we headed into the wolf’s den with his cousin Johan and his girlfriend Dawn. We took our seats as my head buzzed a bit from the bottle of champagne from dinner.

The house lights went down and we observed a show comprised of nine or so dancers who ended every production number by ripping off their costume tops and dancing topless for the hooting and hollering audience.

Don’t get me wrong – I think women’s breasts are beautiful and I have admired them my entire life. It was just that the show prompted my memories of many past trips to Vegas — most of which included some payment on my part to see, touch, feel and/or observe the female mammary glands.

Many of my guy friends are straight, so I’ve been privy to at least a half dozen bachelor parties in the City of Sin. Long before coming out of the closet five years ago, my “buddies” treated me to a lap dance at Crazyhorse II. As the poor stripper did everything in her power to get me aroused she stopped mid-lap dance and just looked at me with a questioning look in her eyes.

“Are you gay?” she asked.

I said yes. Brandy (or whatever her name was) was the first person to whom I ever admitted being queer. She looked relieved as she continued gyrating in my lap. I made sure none of my friends had witnessed the exchange.

The week before I actually came out to everyone I knew (and then some), I was at a friend’s bachelor party once again in Vegas. As best man at my college roomate’s upcoming Greek wedding I was partially in charge of the entertainment at his bachelor festivities. Several weeks before the wedding, we took the groom to Vegas for revelry beyond description. Part of the festivities included private strippers in a hotel suite for the entire gang. As I made out a fairly large check to one of our friends who had organized the show, I swore to myself that I would never pay to see women’s bare titties again. Never had I paid so much for something with so little return.

I came out days later to everyone for many reasons, but actually paying for something from which I got NO enjoyment was a catalyst to live the truth. It was time to live my life as a gay man. Never again would I be dragged to another strip club to pay $60 for fake tits in my face.

So, here I was a gay man this weekend, with my gay boyfriend, watching drag queen-esque topless women cavorting across a glittered stage. Then I remembered that it was okay – I hadn’t paid for titties this time. My boyfriend had purchased them (the tickets – NOT their tits). And I lived up to my own promise of never paying for female strippers again.

So I sat back, smiled and enjoyed the show. I did not see another bare stripper tit the rest of the weekend.

Happy Tuesday…

VIVA Las Vegas!

I’m off to Vegas until Monday. Have a GREAT Memorial Day Weekend and I will be back soon.

Making a Difference

So, I am Team Captain for a new endeavor. I hopt to assemble a team of my San Francisco blogger friends and friends of bloggers for the San Francisco AIDS Walk coming up on July 16. Our goal is to raise at least $10,000 for the cause. I’m a professional fundraiser so I hope my skills are transferable.

We have lots to do: recruit team members; determine the team name (any suggestions?); create crazy costumes; put together a fundraiser event; and, raise the funds. So far, I am now recruting the core team:

Chad Fox (I know you’ll do it!)
Chad’s cousin Scott (and my new roommate)
Nick (friend of Kel and Jake’s sig other)
Jake (friend of Kel and Nick’s sig other)
Kel’s parents (maybe)
Chris (my old friend and new daddy figure)
Garrett (Chris’ sig other)

I hope to get Moby and others enrolled in the craziness.

Now that I have the core group of my cronies (as soon as they approve), we need more bloggers and friends out there in the Bay Area to join us. Or, to fly in for the weekend and join us. If you are interested, please drop me an email at and I will email you details on how to join the team. I also welcome creative suggestions for fundraising and costume design.

It should be a good time and we will conquer this disease! But first, I want to start with conquering the goal of making something happen with the Walk.

Again, if you are interested please drop me an email or call my listener line at
(206) 600-4562.

Next year, I plan to train for AIDS Lifecycle from San Francisco to Los Angeles so this is just a warm up.

Let’s make a difference. Please join us. It should be a good time.

I am heading to Donnan’s family reunion in Las Vegas tomorrow and likely won’t post again until Monday. Have a great holiday weekend and be safe.

Did you know this? Make your voice heard….

Although I don’t believe that the proposed Federal Marriage Amendment will pass muster beyond a committee, its passage and the resulting debate does indicate the use of GLBTQ issues for political purposes once again. Be sure to learn more and speak out at

The Willing Warrior posted a thoughtful vlog relating the immigration issue to GLBTQ issues – it will make you think and hopefully understand that these issues are interrelated in many aspects.

Take a look…

Senate panel OKs gay-marriage ban

By Andy Sullivan
Thursday, May 18, 2006; 2:55 PM

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – A U.S. Senate panel advanced a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage on Thursday as the committee chairman shouted “good riddance” to a Democrat who walked out of the tense session.

“If you want to leave, good riddance,” The Senate Judiciary Chairman, Republican Arlen Specter, told Wisconsin Democratic Sen. Russell Feingold, who refused to participate because, he said, the meeting was not sufficiently open to the public.

“I’ve enjoyed your lecture too. See you later, Mr. Chairman,” Feingold told the Pennsylvania senator before storming out of the private room where the meeting took place.

The testy exchange highlighted tensions over the proposal, which seeks to amend the U.S. Constitution to prevent states from recognizing same-sex marriages.

The measure passed 10-8 on a party-line vote. Specter said he voted for the amendment because he thought it should be taken up by the full Senate, even though he does not back it.

The gay-marriage ban is one of several hot-button social issues Republicans are raising to rally conservative voters ahead of November’s congressional elections.

Because the measure seeks to change the Constitution, it must pass both houses of Congress by a two-thirds majority and then be approved by at least 38 states.

The Senate is expected to take up the bill in early June.

The bill’s sponsor told reporters he does not expect it to pass the Senate but wanted to keep the issue in the public eye.

“If we quit bringing it up here and talking about it here, in effect we leave the decision-making process to the judicial side,” Colorado Republican Sen. Wayne Allard said.

A similar effort failed in the Senate in 2004.

Gay marriage has been a hot topic since a Massachusetts court ruled in 2003 that the state legislature could not ban it, paving the way for America’s first same-sex marriages in May the following year.

At least 13 states have passed amendments banning gay marriage while two — Vermont and Connecticut — have legalized civil unions. California, New Jersey, Maine, the District of Columbia and Hawaii each offer gay couples some legal rights as partners.

Legal challenges seeking permission for gays and lesbians to marry are pending in 10 states. Most recently, a Georgia state court struck down a state ban on Tuesday.

Just over half of all Americans oppose same-sex marriage, according to a March poll by the Pew Research center, down from 63 percent in February 2004.

Vermont Sen. Patrick Leahy, the committee’s top Democrat, said the gay marriage ban was a waste of time for a committee that needs to tackle a wide range of other pressing issues, from judicial nominations to oversight of the National Security Administration’s domestic-spying program.

“I didn’t realize marriages were so threatened. Nor did my wife of 44 years,” Leahy said.

Leahy said Republican Sen. Orrin Hatch, who supports the ban, has expressed support for polygamists in his home state of Utah.

“I never said that,” Hatch responded. “I know some (polygamists) that are very sincere. … Don’t accuse me of wanting to have polygamy.”

Yolanda Bowsly, pop on out….I mean, come on down!

I’m in a funny mood today. I’ve been surfing the ‘net this evening and found this great tidbit.

I am a HUGE fan of “The Price is Right,” and in celebration of this great game show, here is one of the most memorable incidents in the show’s history. It will make you rethink wearing your tube top ever again.

Check it out here…

If, for some reason, the exact clip doesn’t load here is the URL (cut and paste into your browser): It’s the very last PG-13-rated clip listed on the queue.

Note how her nametag, though, does stay in place.

While we are on “TPIR,” here is one poor Queen’s notorious appearance on “TPIR” – you’ll love Gadam…I mean Daniel (not me). You can even hear him yelp at one point. Geez Louise!

Watch it…

My life in boxes

I just returned to rainy San Francisco after packing up the house in Santa Fe. Actually, I didn’t have to do a dang thing – two speedy and efficient movers showed up at the house on Thursday and packed my life away in generic cardboard boxes. I wondered what they must think as they encounter just about every possession that one has. I know that I have way too many things but that many of my objects have some story behind them. For instance, let’s look at my DVD collection. Nothing says more about me than my choice of movies. From “Caddyshack” to “Queer as Folk,” my collection reflects my interest in classic comedy, television sitcoms, classic films and gay culture. They packed what remained in my walk-in closet – including a full-length Kermit green faux fur coat and matching hat, a powder blue ’70s tux and a collection of baseball caps (even Darin would be envious). The chicken costume that used to hang there was traded for a disco-gold shirt several years ago. I don’t know what they would have thought of that costume, but I’ve always said that every man should have a tux hanging next to a chicken costume ’cause you never know when you might need either.

On Friday morning, the actual movers loaded everything into the truck. It is strange watching everything I own leaving the house. I laughed to myself as the two guys chatted about their antics with chicks and how much beer each could drink. I wondered if they liked my taste in furniture and if they knew I was queer. All the identifiable objects were packed before their arrival so they probably didn’t.

At the end of the day, I was left with an empty house and dirty floors. I spent a lovely hour with my Wet Swifter – my prized cleaning appartus left behind for the job and bequested to Donnan and his roommate Josed upon my departure. A new one will replace it at my new SOMA loft.

I spent the last moments in my house taking in all the space that I will lose here. An artist from Berkeley who is moving to Santa Fe has purchased it and plans to renovate the garage into her studio. She made an offer based on my choice of “designer” paints and loved the feel of the layout. I hope she loves the house as much as I did.

Transitioning can be such a pain in the ass, but a critical hurdle is passed. Hopefully my shit will arrive undamaged and intact on June 1.

I did get to watch the “Will & Grace” finale and I won’t add to the tomes that has probably already been written in blogland about it. In spite of the bad writing and continued cliches, I thought it was pretty entertaining. I am glad that W & G went their separate ways – it made them less pathetic than they usually are. I would never toast to my friends, though, for NEVER changing as the characters did in the last scene. Change and growth is critical to moving forward and is exactly why everything I own is on a truck somewhere on I-40 at the moment. My weekend was kind of like a last episode of a sitcom. All the lovable characters were present and I put closure on my life in New Mexico for now.

I’m going to spend some time with Louie at the dog park now – until tomorrow, see ya.

A new podcast for you to check out

Donnan discovered a hot new podcast through Nathan that you should check out:

Frances GummCast

Go have some fun listening to the one-man show about Judy Garland…

Having lots of fun in Santa Fe…LOVED the weird series finale to “Will & Grace,” and a bit drunkie too. Donnan is guest blogging for me this weekend but I’m getting this sneak preview in now.

More later….



Away to Santa Fe

I leave for Santa Fe tomorrow to spend the weekend to meet the movers, see Donnan and my friends, and say goodbye to my house. I may blog a bit, but DSL is disconnected at casa Dan…have a great one!

By the way, I took this photo at the top of Sun Mountain in June 2002. It is looking south-southwest towards Albuquerque and you can see Sandia Peak in the distance.