The intinerary for my upcoming gay cruise came last week, and I have been getting up to speed on my preparation for the “Love Boat” meets bathhouse adventure.
Prior to unloading my steamer trunk and walking the gang bang plank, Rey and I are meeting up for 4 days in funny and sunny Ft. Lauderdale. The two of us are staying at a “gay” hotel and hitting the “gay” beach and “gay” bars. Gay, gay, gay. He wants to come with me on the cruise but cannot swing it with work right now. So, we will catch a tan – well, he will. He’s dark and I’m sure will be black by the end of the four days. On the other hand, my Scotish and pinkish skin will sport its infamous patchwork sunburn depending on where and how I fall asleep at the beach. But, us two ‘hos on the road are sure to have a great time and some tall tales to tell.
The cruise packet is aclimating me for what to expect. For example, one of the first rules in the packet:
Condoms: Please do not flush condoms down any toilets on the ship. The plumbing system is very complicated and comdoms will plug up the pipes and cause an inconvenience to your cabin and others nearby.
and
Door Decorations: Many guests choose to decorate their stateroom doors to make it their home for the week, or make their cabin easier to find…TASTE – please remember that RSVP guests and the ship’s crew come from a wide variety of cultures and backgrounds, please do not use offensive images or nudity in the decorations.
These sound just like the rules they issued me during my stint at San Quentin Prison! (just kidding).
At 5pm on February 26, The Westerdam sets sail for Half Moon Cay, Bahamas. Entertainment that first night includes a cabaret, a comedian, and a piano sing along followed by two DJs in the Queen’s Lounge (I’m not kidding) and in the Northern Promenade Deck Northern Lights Nightclub until 3am.
There are even lectures — “We are Family: how does being gay fit in the global world picture?” takes place on the Promenade Deck on Monday. Monday’s highlight will by the Men Without Ties Underwear Party.
If you don’t get laid by Tuesday, there is a “Singles Party” that afternoon to meet the others on board who need some sex. Apparently, the featured singer on the cruise is an evening with Taylor Dayne. Here’s the itinerary:
Cruise Itinerary
February 26 Sunday Leaves Ft. Lauderdale
February 27 Monday Half Moon Cay
February 28 Tuesday Key West
March 1 Wednesday Key West
March 2 Thursday Progresso, Mexico
March 3 Friday At Sea
March 4 Saturday Return Ft. Lauderdale
I feel like I have signed up for a course in total gay immersion. But it will definitely be a change for me. Cruising at sea, that is.
The next several months are going to be insane. I need to be ready for the ride. I am so ready for a week to relax. 29 days away…yeh!
