Dan’s 40th Birthday Wish List Continues

Finally, a gift that I can use. The iBoxer! Available at 10percent.com.

I know that I have many instances where I’m wearing nothing but my boxers and I have to carry my iPod in my hand, or clip it onto my boxes and they fall down, leaving me nekkid. Here is the solution! With these shorts, you can have your own underwear party. Add these to my wish list, please.

iBoxer from Intimo Play Wear

This is the sexiest way to wear your iPod – in your underwear! These hot new underwear from Intimo Play are called the iBoxer. They come equipped with a pocket that is designed to hold your iPod! Whether you’re a 30GB, 60GB, 1GB or a Nano, these underwear will hold your package!

You can own all 5 rockin’ colors – Black, Grey, White, Turquoise and Orange – all with a green Intimo Play waistband.

Buy 2 pair and get 3 FREE songs from iTunes! Details included in packaging. Offer valid while supplies last. iPod not included.

Please note: Due to manufacturing delay, this item in Grey will NOT be available until sometime the week of 01/09/06. All other colors are available for immediate shipping.

The War on Terror, the War on Drugs, the War in Iraq, and now the War on Porn

I’ve spent the past day with the sniffles. I’m still not feeling well after waking up yesterday with all kinds of afflictions hitting me. I’m using my quiet evening to catch up on the news of the world and am almost afraid to see where we are anymore.

I just have to say that I’m sick and tired of having others’ beliefs shoved down my throat. Our President has started so many wars that I’ve lost count. I happened to Google “war on porn” a little while ago and the Google search returned over 7 million listings. Apparently our government, driven by the small faction of the Republican Party known as the Religious Right, has decided that it is time to tell all of us what we can or can’t write, read, view, and listen to. While this won’t surprise most readers, what you should know about is the degree to which our government is expending resources to tell us what is right and wrong. And, this movement is basically censorship disguised as a bill to curb child pornography.

This story really worries me. Spirituality is a personal decision, and I have no problems with Americans deciding how to raise their families. I am sick, though, of people who aren’t gay or lesbian or transgender or bisexual telling me that I have a psychological problem, or as my mother puts it, “I didn’t raise you this way.” In the greater scheme of things, I have issues with the government taking away choices around our personal actions and telling us HOW to live and raise our families.

That aside, I was President of my Youth Ministry Group at the church I attended in high school. Interestingly enough, my father, mother, nor brother ever attended church. I went ON MY OWN! When I came out to my mother and brother four years ago, I was told that my “lifestyle choice” was against their religion and they didn’t approve. And as far as I know, I think I was the last family member to attend church.

Rev. Curry was a great role model at that New England church I attended. Our church was full of well-dressed white worshipers who were considered upper middle-class in my hometown. One Sunday, Mr. Curry (he hated to be called Reverand) showed up in ragged overalls, a frayed flannel shirt, and boots to make the point that it didn’t matter what people thought about you on the outside. He told us it was important to believe how we felt inside, and that was what mattered to God. I have to remember what this experience was like for me versus the bullshit being forced on us now. I forget all the wonderful moderate folks out there attending church and understanding these basic concepts of love, harmony, and respect. I have to remind myself that unfortunately a small minority of extremists have, for some reason, succeeded in convincing the Republican Party that our Justice Department should be spending time censoring the internet, cable TV, and satellite radio. You know what? If you don’t like it, don’t subscribe! But don’t you dare regulate what I can watch, read, listen to, or talk about. If you are in doubt about what direction we should be heading, re-read the Constitution.

I heard some spokeswoman for Concerned Women of America complaining on Air America recently that Logo, the new gay and lesbian channel on cable started by MTV, is detrimental to American youth and gives an endorsement on “morally wrong” homosexuality. Have you seen Logo? Between repeat showings of Moulin Rouge and Longtime Companion, there is not much fodder here to “recruit” youth into homosexuality. When forced to answer what aspects of Logo would negatively affect youth, the spokeswoman could not answer the question. Big surprise. I subscribe to Logo for an extra $5 per month as part of my satellite TV. When I called DirecTV to order it, subscribing was NOT easy. The operator I spoke with hadn’t even heard of it. But, the right-wing feel it necessary to decry Logo as a sign of the Apocalypse. Get over it. If you don’t want to watch a biography of Judy Garland or a recap of Elton John’s civil union, don’t subscribe.

This indecency bill is scary, and I bet very few Americans can even say what it covers. Here’s a highlight from “Gay City News”:

But the effect would be much, much broader than simply curtailing the availability of online sexual content. The Federal Communications Commission has defined “indecency” as everything from Howard Stern’s broadcasts to certain four-letter words. (Poor Howard—he fled broadcast radio for the freedom of the Internet‘s Sirius Radio, but if Stevens has his way even that haven could be taken away from him.) Extending those FCC “indecency” standards from broadcast to the Internet and cable TV, as Stevens wants to do, would drastically change the audio-visual landscape—from stand-up comics such as Whoopi Goldberg to cable offerings like “Queer as Folk” and the gay cable networks Logo and QTN, sexually charged verbiage and portrayals would be threatened.

More far-reaching still, explicit science-based sex education on the Internet, or safe-sex videos on the Web featuring graphic instruction on how to use a condom, could potentially be covered by this new indecency bill. The photos of the sexual humiliations at Abu Ghraib inflicted by U.S. torturers, which first saw the light of day on the Internet, could also have been covered by the Stevens proposals, civil liberties lawyers say.

This potential legislation frightens me greatly. Be sure to contact your Senators and Congressional representatives to share your concerns. Otherwise, blogging could become history.

What an awful way to die…

Next to this story right out of the movie “Fargo,” was the story about the bowler who died of a heart attack right after bowling the third perfect game of his life. Man, I think I prefer to go like the bowler rather than the poor wood chipper guy.

Loveland man identified in wood chipper accident

The owner of a tree service company in Loveland said he had knots in his stomach when he heard a Loveland man had died after being pulled through a commercial wood chipper.

“It was freaky. I just had an eerie feeling,” said Roy Barnhart, owner of Roy’s Tree Service. “I didn’t know who it was at first. It shook everybody up.”

The Larimer County Coroner’s Office identified the man Thursday as Brian Morse, 54, who owned Brian’s Tree Service. Morse was identified by his fingerprints. The accident Wednesday afternoon occurred near the intersection of Wilson Avenue and Fountain Avenue in Loveland.

The coroner’s office ruled Morse died by accident after a gloved hand got caught in the chipper and he was pulled through. The coroner’s office said there were no indications that alcohol or drugs were factors, but a toxicology report is pending. There are no indications of suspicious or foul play.

Read more…

Dan’s Birthday Wish List Continues

When I was 8, I got both a Steve Scout and a Bob Scout for Christmas. They were my fave toys. I also got a number of accessories, including a jeep, a tent, two sleeping bags, and backpacks. Being the good little gay boy that I was, they would camp together on my parents’ living room floor, sharing a tent, stripped to their skivvies, finding adventure — just the two of them. (Wait a minute, isn’t this “Brokeback Mountain”?) When my mother asked me if I was building a boy scout troop, I said “no, I’m building a family!” (Just kidding – that’s a joke from “Will & Grace”). If a psychologist had observed all this back then I probably would have come out when I was 10. Somewhere along the way they either got lost, eaten by dogs, became street punks, or ended up in the attic as I got older.

As luck has it, Ebay has a Steve Scout. I’ve placed a bid. I am so excited. Steve will take up residence on my den shelf with my Carlos and Billy dolls. Poor Steve is in trouble! They are going love him as a roommate. And if any of you outbid me, you will pay (unless, of course, you send Steve to me for my 40th).

Thanks, EBay.

Today’s “I can’t believe that I wrote that” post

I was writing an email to a friend tonight, and scribed the following line:

Although I love cock, there’s a lot more than cock to a person…

My oh my. I think that’s the gayest (and dumbest) thing I’ve ever written! And don’t forget it.

Even Steve Sandvoss is entertained.

Today’s random news item: Little Buddha

With all the internet surfing and newspaper reading I do, I can’t believe I missed this story about Ram Bomjon, a Nepalese teenager who is meditating and whose followers say hasn’t eaten or drunk for six months.

Pilgrims flock to see ‘Buddha boy’ said to have fasted six months
By Thomas Bell in Bara District, Nepal
(Filed: 21/11/2005)

Thousands of pilgrims are pouring into the dense jungle of southern Nepal to worship a 15-year-old boy who has been hailed as a new Buddha.

Devotees claim that Ram Bomjon, who is silently meditating beneath a tree, has not eaten or drunk anything since he sat down at his chosen spot six months ago.

Ram Bomjon maintains his vigil in the shade of his pipal tree

Witnesses say they have seen light emanating from the teenager’s forehead.

“It looks a bit like when you shine a torch through your hand,” said Tek Bahadur Lama, a member of the committee responsible for dealing with the growing number of visitors from India and elsewhere in Nepal.

Photographs of Ram Bomjon, available for five rupees (4p) from his makeshift shrine, have become ubiquitous across the region. “Far and wide, it’s the only topic of conversation,” said Upendra Lamichami, a local journalist.

He said no allegation had yet emerged of Ram breaking his fast or moving, even to relieve himself.

Read more…

Nepalese officials are undergoing an investigation into the claims about Bomjon’s superhuman feat, and it is attracting worldwide press. In fact, I read about it in People tonight. His meditation is similar to that of the historical Buddha, who achieved enlightenment when he meditated beneath a sacred pipal tree for 49 days.

It’s a bit different today than in 543 B.C. Apparently, vendors have set up around Rom and are selling everything from incense to hair products.

Looking back at 2005

My first birthday party in 1967 – I’m on the horse all the way to the left of the photo.
Here’s my obligatory end-of-year post inspired by Scott at Two Inches of Formica. He nicely summarized his year, and it inspired me to think about what I’ve accomplished in 2005.

Most importantly, I rebounded from a two-year relationship that had made me very shy and introverted. I had been made to feel not attractive and that I was a less than adequate person for coming out late in life. My ex had been out for 15 years, and constantly reminded me of that. At the same time, I learned a lot about being gay from him. When we ended our relationship in October 2004, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I have spent the past year getting to know myself again, as I’ve never really been single since coming out 5 years ago. I feel so happy and confident with myself and know that I am going to make someone a fine hubby some day. I’ve made a few gay friends, and met all my blogger buddies who are my bigger circle of gay friends. And that makes me feel good.

I’ve also learned to be honest with myself and others. I’ve learned in 2005 that it is okay to have weaknesses and work on them. I’ve learned the value of not spending time with negative people, and the joy of spending time with people who really matter. I’ve grown up a lot, yet still maintain an air of youthfulness that people like and comment upon. At the same time, I’ve learned that I am wiser than I thought and have stopped underestimating myself. (No, I’m not about to go into a chorus of “I Am Woman” by Helen Reddy).

I am thankful I’ve started my blog. It has been a great catalyst for me to express myself, test ideas, and make new friends. I was emailing Nathan earlier that it is strange how we can cultivate friendships through html code and emails. I know that when I meet Nathan one day that he and I will likely become inseperable friends. I just have that feeling. Donnie and I are planning a very special joint podcast with a very special celebrity (if she agrees) in the near future, and I am so glad he asked me to do this with him. I found out that Adam is a good friend just yesterday as he and I confronted an issue regarding a blog guest. And my day wouldn’t be complete without JJD and I trading “behind the scenes” emails. I spent years in therapy, and this kicks the shit out of those group circle jerks I used to sit in. Thanks, guys!

DAN’S NOTE: The orchestra starts up, forcing me to finish my acceptance speech so the Oscar telecast can go to a commercial.

I’ve come far from my first entry in October 2005:

One more blog….
I have to say I’ve become quite a fan of blogs. You will see some of the ones to which I am addicted here. Maybe its because I live in a small town and there’s not a whole lot going on. Anyway, I’m throwing my hat into the ring. My life could be a sit-com, so I hope you all enjoy it.

I will end this post with my Top Ten favorite blog posts from TURNING FORTY in 2005 – for all of you who started reading my blog late, this will take you back in time.

When I knew I was gay: TURNING FORTY: When I knew I was gay (a.k.a. when I realized I didn’t like girls)

More about customer service at Amazon: TURNING FORTY: What to do when you accidently activate the doomsday machine

A rant and rave about BAD customer service: TURNING FORTY: The high road on customer service

Living in my straight world: TURNING FORTY: Gay in my straight world

A funny Top Ten list written during a trip to West Hollywood: TURNING FORTY: Top Ten Signs that your son is gay

One of my “letter to the editor” reviews – I especially appreciated the heart-felt comment from a reader of this post: TURNING FORTY: I’m back on the soap box

International Male: TURNING FORTY: International Male in the Mail

My worst Halloween ever: TURNING FORTY: One of my worst Halloweens – ever!

The Peanut Boy Story from Burning Man: TURNING FORTY: Memories from Burning Man 2005

And, of course: TURNING FORTY: Today’s gratuitous tribute to the gay blog world!

Dan’s 40th Birthday Wish List Begins

I got an email today from www.sextoy.com that featured this wonderful kit. For only $41. How did they know that this is exactly what I need? The tools are conveniently interchangeable. I’m putting it on the registry for my 40th party.

7.5 inch bulb pump with latex sleeve, 4 inch vibrating butt plug, silicone 2.25 inch stretchy penis sleeve with vibrating bullet in the tip, enhancing rings with stimulating nodules and multi-purpose power pak features 1 touch control and graduated LED display. 2 AA batteries

Category: Penis pumps with sleeves anal butt plugs kits variety-in-one-box
Material: siliconel atex
For Body Part: cock clit or anus
Powered by: 2doubleA
Color: Black
Shape: external nubs
Features: Super-Stretchy
Pay-Per-View: Watch a demo on how to enlarge your penis with a pump

The reviews are great, too:

This machine made me come 45 times in a minute… in fact my come hit all the windows and blinded my dog. I no longer leave the house because I am too obsessed with this. The butt plug is my new obsession. I need anal sex all day. Thank you, I am forever in your debt.
Date Submitted: 09/17/2003 by [mike]


Wow, this product is awesome, the vibrating hood is unbelievable! Pump works great, girlfriend loves the cock rings and I even tried the butt plug.(that was ok also) Everything works great and for what you get it’s cheap. It’s a great starter kit.
Date Submitted: 05/07/2005 by [anonymous]

Do you really want to go cheap on something like this? And the butt plug is just okay? He is so modest.

Sex toys remind me of a hilarious story that happened to me this past fall. I was home alone one Saturday, and found a box with chains, mannacles, and a collar – all heavy-duty steel. It was an item my ex left behind when he moved out. Being the curious one that I am, I decide to put on one of the manacles with the LONG chain attached. Well, the lock must have been rusty and I couldn’t get it off. Nor could I slip the manacle over my ankle.

So how do I call the locksmith and explain how this happened?

I have no choice. I call him and he laughs at my situation. “It will take four to six hours to get there.” So, I call Amy in a panic but she is laughing too hard to provide any help. I hang out at the house for several hours when he showed up.

“We’ll have to torch the lock off in the front yard,” he tells me. Yikes! The retired neighbors who live across the street will love this! He didn’t seem phased by my Lucille Ball predicament. “I’ve seen it all – once had to cut a lady’s chastity belt off.” I didn’t feel so bad now. Of course, the time he showed up to remove me from my chains was prime-time dog walking hour in the ‘hood. My neighbors gave polite waves and walked briskly by as sparks flew from the bounds around my ankle. And, I’m holding an eight-foot chain over my shoulder. He got it off and I whisked him away with a $75 check. It was worth every cent.

So, go easy on me with sex toy birthday presents, please. I don’t know who to call if I get a butt plug stuck up my ass.

E-Brechi is missing!

Does anyone know what happened to E-Brechi’s blog? There’s alot of confused reader comments over there, this weird image of a mock CNN report, and new tenants from Switzerland, “Kraut & Rüben.”

Must be a joke. I guess he finally shut down.